Monkey See, Monkey Do

September 16, 2009. Had my 36-week check up today. Was thinking about getting my flu shots, but forgot to mention it when the doc came in. Things were good, considering. I was up to three insulin shots a day, but had finally gotten the weight gaining to a minimum. Babe’s measuring big again, but doc says not to worry. We talk about an induction and I ask (wishfully) if she could do it earlier than 38-weeks and (sadly) was told no. Not a problem. I knew I could make it a few more weeks. I was sleeping, eating, walking, working and being a mom to Xander just fine as is, what would another two weeks be?!

Since I had taken the day off for my appointment, decided to take Xander to my mom for his first haircut. What an event, he did SO well. Sat perfectly still for her as she trimmed up his long curl in the front and a few trims to even out the back. By this time I had been on the go for most the day and was swollen and tired. Pretty miserable, actually. Mom asked how the appointment went, and I told her that things were good and still on schedule.

It was Wednesday, so that meant dinner with the in-laws (the good ones). I was actually looking forward to eating some food and hanging out with the family. We showed up first (as usual) and wait for everyone to show up. It was getting late by the time we all got there, so a few appetizers had been ordered. Had to take an insulin shot before I ate, and was STARVING at this point, so instead of waiting for dinner I took a shot and enjoyed a few samplings from the plates of goodies coming out. By the time dinner was served I had already consumed more than I should have and had to box it up for lunch the next day.

September 17, 2010. It was a long day yesterday, and 5am came too soon. But I had some important meetings scheduled today, so had to get up and dressed up and head off to work. As I drove in, I felt a few pains. Nothing too bad, but they were pretty consistent…didn’t think much of it, just went on to work.

6ish am, in my office getting all of the morning reports updated so that I can concentrate on the meetings ahead. Still need to work on training the new guy so he can start taking over the reporting while I’m on leave. The pains are getting a little more intense and still pretty consistent, but I’m still managing.

6:30am, think I should call and wake up the hubs, just in case I need to come home, or better yet go to the hospital. He suggests I take a walk for a while and see if the pains go away. I’m too busy to get up and walk around, so I continue to sit at my desk working. I’m tracking each pain. What time it starts and about how long it lasts. Each come about a minute or two apart, and last for 30-45 seconds. Still doing ok.

It’s almost 7am, everyone else is now here and beginning to work. I really can’t concentrate on anything but these pains, and I know if I don’t go home now, I’m not going to get anything done at work. So, I quietly head down the stairs, across the street and go looking for my boss. Luckily he’s in one of of the front offices, I tell him I am not feeling well and I need to go home. I tell him the reports are done and the meetings planned are covered and I’d call him later. I head back across the street and upstairs to my office to let my staff know I’m going home and to call me if they need anything.

I head home and tell the hubs I think it’s happening. Think we should call his mom to come and stay with Xander while we go to the hospital. He starts getting around while I’m pacing back and forth through the house through each contraction. Yep, I’ve stopped denying it - I’m in labor.

MIL arives, super excited, Xander’s been up for about an hour now, he’s eatting breakfast, not really knowing what’s going on. By this time I can barely stand the pain, and am scared and excited to think I may be meeting my second little man shortly. We head out - luckily it’s only about 2 minutes to the birthing center. TWO of the longest minutes!!

We get there and I swear it takes an hour to get checked in, but I’m still standing and ready to get checked to make sure it’s the real thing. I know it’s early, but I’m hopeful that he’s ready to come and we’ll be together soon. Once in the room the nurse asks how far along I am and as she realizes I’m only 36 weeks she’s concerned and says we need to check things out so they can get me across the street to the hospital because this isn’t where I should be. Too late. By the time I’m checked, I’m dilated to 9. Water hasn’t broken yet - and it hurts. BAD. I want to push. I need to push. But they tell me I have to wait until my doc gets there to check me and make the decision to break my water. She’s in traffic. BOO!!! They ask a bunch of questions, ask if I want an epidural. After Xander’s birth happened so quickly and they were not able to get me the shot, I asked if there was really any point at this time, and surprisingly they honestly said no. I was ok with that. Done it before, surely I could do it again without meds. I’m seriously in pain, can’t wait any longer. They called my doc to see if it was ok to break my water and then the fun began.

Water broke, pain increased, MUST PUSH NOW. A couple of pushes later, and a whole lot of screaming and cussing and crying and at one point I’m sure I gave up and said I couldn’t do it any more because it hurt so bad, he was out.

Because he was early, they already had a NICU team there waiting for him. They immediately got to work. I didn’t hear him cry. There was a lot of people in the room. A lot of noise, but I didn’t hear him cry. As I was trying to figure this all out, the hubs watching everything unfold, the doc stitching me up, I heard him cry. Not much, but enough to let me know he was doing ok. They tell me he’s having some problems breathing and need to take him across the street to get him checked out. The hubs goes with. I think my mom’s here by this point and gets to see the baby as he’s whisked away.

September 17, 2009 at 9:05am, Remington Xavier was born. 6lbs, 14oz and 19 inches long. Full head of hair. And my nose! Yay!

It was over an hour or so later when I finally got wheeled through the underground tunnels from the birthing center to the hospital so that I could see Remi and get checked into my new room. I was so excited and nervous all at the same time. I didn’t really know what he looked like, or what he would look like hooked up to whatever they hooked him up to in the NICU. He was beautiful. I knew he would be! The hubs and I got to hold him for a while. I got to try and breastfeed him. What a little sucker - sure wish I had something for him at that moment, but at least I knew he’d be willing to work with me when I did!

A day in the NICU and he was doing well and was able to move into the Special Care unit. His lungs were doing much better, but now he was having trouble regulating his temperature and he’d lost a whole lot of weight. I was visiting him each time he woke up, and pumping as soon as he fell asleep. He was doing better each day.

Day two and a few visitors came by. This was all so different from when Xander was born, and we sent messages to EVERYONE we knew that he was born. Remi did not get blasted to anyone but immediate family. He wasn’t up for visitors, and since it was flu season, most people could go near him anyway. My mom was a constant (which was odd since she usually isn’t much for “being there” when you need her to be) pretty much ever chance she could get away from work, and my sister came by with her hubs and kids once. They didn’t get to hold him, but they all caught a quick glimpse of him - and then spent most of their time in the waiting room helping Xander learn to walk…which he did, thank god!

Day three, I had to go home. I couldn’t be there every time he woke up. I couldn’t walk down the hall each time they called so I could try and feed him every chance I got. The nurses told me to go home and get some rest, that he’d be ok and the formula would help him gain back some weight and get him released into the Family Care sooner.

I didn’t want to go home without him. I lost it on the way home. I lost it when I went into Xander’s room to kiss him goodnight. I lost it when I tried to go to bed. I was a reck. But I knew that as soon as the MIL was able to be there in the morning, we’d head back up to the hospital and I’d be able to stay with him all day. I felt bad that I couldn’t be there for Xander, but I needed to be there for Remi - to help him get home.

I barely slept that night, and woke up just as quickly as I could to get around and ready to head up to the hospital for the day. I spent as much time with Xander as I could before we left, and then spent the next few days in the waiting room, walking down a long hall every few hours to feed him, pump and return to the waiting room. A few days of this and I was exhausted, and poor Xander wasn’t sure what to think. He was being traded from one grandparent to another while I sat at the hospital and the hubs went back to work…he was a trooper though!

Finally Remi was strong enough to leave the special care room andhead out to his own room where I could join him for 24 hour mommy care! Yay! I got to be in the same room with him all the time, and tell him how much he was loved and how much he had to look forward to when he got home. Sure wish I could have held him the whole time, but since he had been hooked up to an IV while in Special Care, he was now jaundiced and had to be under the UV lights constantly. I was able to hold him at every feeding, but that was about it. But at least I got to be there with him the whole time.

We stayed in the family care room for another few days, each one longer than the other, waiting for someone to tell us it was finally time for him to go home. Then finally, eight days later - he was free to go.

We packed everything up, took everything (diapers, nose-suckers, wipes, blankets, an extra pack of breast milk storage containers, thermometers…everything) that wasn’t bolted down and gladly took our baby boy home. What a great day!